Weenie in a bottle

It feels like i've been alone too long,
with no girls around
my mamma's wondering.
thinking of some way,
to release it.
I looked in the kitchen,
saw some crisco oil,
and that's when my bladder started to boil,
ooooooh yeah.
Ow, ow, ow!
(uh oh!)
ow, ow, ow!
(oh god! what did i just do?)
No one wanted to be with me,
had to make my dream come true,
i wanted to hump something,
i didn't know what to do.
it seemed like a good idea,
and no one else was around,
i stuck my weenie in a bottle,
and now i can't get it out!
Stuck my weenie in a bottle today,
gonna shove it up there all the way.
i stuck my weenie in a bottle,
oh no,
can, can, someone come help me out?
It's turning purple,
all the feelings gone,
now where did i put that friggin' phone?
dialing 9-1-1!
Please pick up!
i'm in a lot of pain!
this was supposed to feel good,
now i'm suffering,
oh, please answer!
[emergeny services]
denver 911, what is your emergency?
Ow, ow, ow!
[emergency services]
hello?
Ow, ow, ow!
[emergency services]
sir, what seems to be the problem?
No one wanted to be with me,
had to make my dream come true,
i wanted to hump something,
i didn't know what to do.
[emergency services]
go on!
It seemed like a good idea,
and no one else was around,
i stuck my weenie in a bottle,
and now i can't get it out!
[emergency services]
you stuck your weenie in a bottle,
oh my!
you must feel really lonley, guy.
you stuck your weenie in a bottle,
that's a first!
don't worry sir,
we're sending somebody out!
hey pam, this guy's got his weenie stuck in a bottle!
[pam]
no way!
[emergency services]
he does!
hahahahaha!
wait, wait...
sir, we're sending somebody out.
ahahahahahhahaah!
[police]
he's in here,
let's break the door down!
They break the door down.
[police]
oh my god!
hahahahahahahahah!
[emergency services]
no one wanted to be with him,
had to make his dream come true,
he wanted to hump something!
I didn't know what to do!
[police]
it seemed like a good idea,
and no one else was around,
he stuck his weenie in a bottle--
And now i can't get it out!
[policeman]
ok kid, relax
we're going to get this thing off of ya!
ok, get ready,
pull!
Owwww!!
Stuck my weenie in a bottle today,
now, now, now i can't get it out!