Twilight sucks: emo vampire

I'll never be an emo vampire
setting tweenaged loins on fire
I've got nothing in commun with the vampires of today,
they gaze at girls and pout and brood and they just run away
This Twilight hack thinks she can come along and change the Vampire rules
I guess sleeping in coffins and wearing capes, suddenly isnt cool
Girls wont climb up trees with me or canoodle in the grass
and when I play Vampire baseball I always get picked last
Ive seduced all kinds of women from all over the world
But, now the only dates I get are with chunky gothic girls
When did all these Vampires become abstinent and whiny
When I walk into the sun I dont get all bright and shiny Vampires dont have purity rings like undead Jonas Brothers
If I cant score with these high school girls perhaps Ill go for their mothers
Ill never be an emo vampire
Setting tweenaged loins on fire
Ill have no participation
In this vampire pussification
So wake me up when the world grows a pairof fangs