The wild west is where i want to be

Now if i may indulge in a bit of personal history, a few years ago i worked for a while at the los alamos scientific laboratory in new mexico. i had a job there as a spy. no, i guess you know that the staff out there at that time was composed almost exclusively of spies...of one persuasion or another. and, while i was out there, i came to realize how much the wild west had changed since the good old days of wyatt earp and home on the range, and here then is a modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis called the wild west is where i wanna be.
Along the trail you'll find me lopin'
where the spaces are wide open,
in the land of the old a.e.c.* yee-hoo!
where the scenery's attractive,
and the air is radioactive,
oh, the wild west is where i wanna be.
'mid the sagebrush and the cactus
i'll watch the fellows practice
droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze. a-ha!
i'll have on my sombrero,
and of course i'll wear a pair o'
levis over my lead b.v.d.'s.**
I will leave the city's rush,
leave the fancy and the plush,
leave the snow and leave the slush
and the crowds.
i will seek the desert's hush,
where the scenery is lush,
how i long to see the mush-room clouds.
'mid the yuccas and the thistles
i'll watch the guided missiles,
while the old f.b.i. watches me. yee-hoo!
yes, i'll soon make my appearance
(soon as i can get my clearance),
'cause the wild west is where i wanna be.