The great disappointment

I can remember a place i used to go.
chrysanthemums of white,
they seemed so beautiful.
i can remember. i searched for amaranth.
i'd shut my eyes to see.
oh, how i smiled then,
so near the cherished ones.
i knew they would appear…saw not a single one.
oh, how i smiled then,
waiting so patiently.
i'd make a wish and bleed.
while i waited i was wasting away.
i can remember…dreamt them so vividly,
soft creatures draped in white,
light kisses gracing me.
i can remember when i first realized
dreams were the only place to see them.
while i waited i was wasting away.
hope was wasting away.
faith was wasting away.
i was wasting away.
i never, never wanted this.
i always wanted to believe,
but from the start i'd been deceived.
i never, never wanted this.
inside a crumbling effigy,
so dies all innocence.
but you promised me…