The battle

Should I remember so well days gone by
I wonder what it would take
For I find so little to remember anymore
Someone else's lies keep me from trusting your words
Will the hearts left behind rear their ugly heads
Then I find I want to believe what I'm feeling so bad

But what I believe battles
Battles what I have seen
Leaves me lying in wait
Old wounds start to bleed again

I smell the pillow then fight to untie
Trembling hands and the vision of you by my side
But what I can't take is when the vision is all that's left
I stand by the river then try to decide
I look in the mirror still I cannot stop
Wishing and wanting what only waits for my word

But what I believe...

How do I step across this fear
It swallows me whole with no sign of regret
It takes me by the hand
I cannot turn away