Talking bear mountain picnic massacre blues

I saw it advertised one day,
bear mountain picnic was comin' my way.
"come along 'n' take a trip,
we'll bring you up there on a ship.
bring the wife and kids
bring the whole family."
yippee!
Well, i run right down 'n' bought a ticket
to this bear mountain picnic.
but little did i realize
i was in for a picnic surprise.
had nothin' to do with mountains.
i didn't even come close to a bear.
Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier,
six thousand people there,
everybody had ticket for the trip.
"oh well." i said, "it's a pretty big ship.
besides, anyway, the more the merrier."
Well, we all got on 'n' what d'ya think,
that big old boat started t' sink
more people kept a-pilin' on,
that old ship was a-slowly goin' down.
funny way t' start a picnic.
Well, i soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife,
so many people there i never saw in m' life
that old ship sinkin' down in the water,
six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other,
dogs a-barkin', cats a-meowin',
women screamin', fists a-flyin', babies cryin',
cops a-comin', me a-runnin'.
maybe we just better call off the picnic.
I got shoved down 'n' pushed around,
all i could hear there was a screamin' sound,
don't remember one thing more,
just remember walkin' up on a little shore,
head busted, stomach cracked,
feet splintered, i was bald, naked. . .
quite lucky to be alive though.
Feelin' like i climbed outa m' casket,
i grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket.
took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home,
wishin' i'd never got up that morn.
Now, i don't care just what you do,
if you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you.
but don't tell me about it, i don't wanta hear it,
'cause, see, i just lost all m' picnic spirit.
stay in m' kitchen, have m' own picnic. . .
in the bathroom.
Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny
what some people are gonna do f'r money.
there's a bran' new gimmick every day
just t' take somebody's money away.
i think we oughta take some o' these people
and put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to bear mountain . . .
for a picnic.