So fast so numb

you're moving through rough waters,
motor boy,
and swimming in your sleep.
how could I be so blind, mis-sighted,
not to see there's something wounded deep.
anyone could scratch your surface now,
it's all amphetamine
you're blasting yourself into the present
to blur some past indignity, say that,

you say that
you hate it.
you want to re-create it

I've been around, I've been your lover.
I let it go, kill devil hills.
you're coming onto something so fast, so numb
that you can't even feel.

you're drinking raw adrenal baby,
and dosey dosey doe.
You're eating cartilage. shark-eyes. shark-heart.
all present tense.
boy, your blood is running cold.
listen. this is now. this is here.
this is me. this is what I wanted
you to see.
that was then. that was that.
that is gone. that is past.
you cast yourself, cast.
passed by, thrown down fast. you say.

you say that
you hate it.
but you want to recreate it.

I've played this round, I've played your lover.
I've played it out and to the hilt.
you're coming onto something so fast, so numb
that you can't even feel.

you love it.
you hate it.
you want to re-create it.
now this is here. this is me.
this is what I wanted
you to see.
that was then. that was that.
that is gone. that is what
I wanted you to feel.

you love it.
you hate it.
I'm spitting out the bitter pill.

I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go, kill devil hills.
you're coming onto something so fast, so numb
that you can't even feel.

I've played this round, I've played your lover.
I've played it out and to the hilt.
you're coming onto something so fast, so numb
that you can't even feel.

you've played around, you played me lover.
I let it go, kill devil hills.
you're moving so hard, so fast, so numb
that you can't even feel.rics here"