Smile with tears

The way you gradually become distanced from him, the fact that you couldn't find the last place
it was supposed to be.
the way you let it drop, the way you lost it, the fact you are alone, it all proves that you are
on your own.
how you find everbody else foolish, how you find yourself foolish, the fact is you are less fortunate.
the envy, the jealousy and the selfishness, your cheap salary, a quarrel with somebody else.
that morning that dazzled with glory, that youthfulness that faded away before you knew it.
those surprises that never acutally occured, that sword that never got drawn.
it's all sad, but we hear stories like that all the time here, and nobody laughs at you for that.
quietly, wait for your eternal hopes outside, while you chew on sadness, and laugh at your own pain.
No matter how many times i calculate, no matter how sorry i make my face look.
no matter how many great songs i write, stopping even my breath, and holding it there.
none of the things remain the same, the time passes and i hold on.
after all, nothing can be more sad than this, everything is meant to go downstream.
nothing matters once that second or inch has passed you can have a fun life only once.
the colour of the medal i aim for is 18k, gold, a shower of thoughts soak my shirt.
when yousee the light turn to green, a new world is just around the corner.
eventually the rain stops, the shir dries, the sun god ressurects happily.
the memories are still vivid, i never hear from you, but i know you are all fine.
i heared that junya* has started to walk, i hope that we can all get together next year.
we will always be friends until earths last moment, what we call each other and our meeting
spot will never change.
let the party go on, relax and with your drunken tears, laugh at today.
You don't have to listen if you don't want to, it's your choice.
you don't have to do it if you don't want to, you are free.
it rally is not my problem whether you climb up the steep slope or not.
you can go whenever you feel like it, you can go later, or you can go slowly, little by little.
you don't have to go if you don't want to, and i understand if you are too busy.
i do uderstand you, we are all having a tough life.
but one thing i can tell you is that you have to ascend the slope, eventually.