Slow burn

It begins with a dark glowing ember,
something black burning it's way out of me.
Searing the flesh,
pain is the only thing I feel,
scars all I see.

Oh no the fire's burning my insides again,
what can I do to silence my desire tonight?
Face consumer reason leaving all the ashes there,
you won't catch me for granting my decision,
I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can't just close my eyes.

I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best of me,
but I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you boy, tell you boy,
about the lies I lead.

That is how it kills, I got some flames and gasoline
Broken teeth replace the blackout memories in my head
Wreckage from the blast, it often shakes me to the floor
(to the floor)
I know it's over but I can't go home tonight.

And after this I feel as empty as the night before,
feel the pain and yet I'm still begging for more.

Masochistic, nihilistic, gurging wrecked up thoughts
My life's a mess and I can't find a way to fix it.

I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can't just close my eyes
(my eyes, my eyes, my f**king eyes)

I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best of me,
but I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you boy, tell you boy,
about the lies I lead.

Calling, calling out.
The darkness reaches up my soul,
I'm riddled with self-doubt.
Crawling, crawling out,
my will to fight will more than suffice,
while others will lay down.

It's only as dark as you make it.

I know that it's killing me,
and it's poisoning the best of me,
but I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you boy, tell you boy,
about the lies I lead.