Schizophrenia (mental suicide)

I think of death as if it`s near
plan my future as if it`s doesn`t exist
i`d like to die without having lived
disappear without regret nor joy
death is perhaps a delivery
nobody`s never managed to prove it
I`d like to have no future
kill without remorse even friends
be an animal without faith nor law
Mad, i begin to be mad
I feel my nerves that are cracking
i want to weep and to laugh
an interior force pushes me to suicide
an other one pushes me to folly
i think of death as if it`s near
project my future as if it doesn`t exist...