Ruin it

I've waited a long time for this life
Just to ruin it, so please don't ruin this for me
Yes to understand this lie
Hell I crossed those t's
I scratched out all these eyes, myself last night
What I promise not to find

So this is what I'm looking like these days
I'm all grown up, so full of hate
But I don't wanna let go of my age
Cause it's the salt, that brings the taste

So where am I to decide that I'm not right?
Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
On a good day
On my best day
If you stick around

Did I stay inside to sterilize this knife?
Am I being to careful?
Does this seem right?
Did I open up the shades to expose the sunny rays?
To show what burned there inside

Take a close look
Hold me right up to the light
Cause I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
On a good day
On my best day
If you stick around

I've waited for so long
(I've waited for so long)
Spread me out, rake me in
This scorched and rocky field
Will camouflage my skin

And I might break and I might bend
Your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize
On a good day

On my best day
If you stick around [2x]