Of nails and sinners

"i know that without me god cannot live a moment;
if i am destroyed he must give up the ghost."
[angelus silesius]
I beseech you, god to whom many sinners pray
from the depth of the dark abyss where my heart fell
expelled i was from your tedious grace to the pits of hell
so can you please cease to deplore my opposite, nay only way
for aeons i descended down
till i saw the dreadful truth
of which man wouldn`t know
i, degraded bearer of thy sacred light
- to which i never again will bow
when i rise to avenge myself with darkness
the anger of the damned shall flow
I was cast out by the retinue of angels weak
shone to the few who me would seek
A rebel i was, radiant my glow, afar,
my wisdom fathomed by the morningstar
And o you fools, in herdlike fight, stampede
and when creation falls, you must build anew,
with nails that sting my hands - they grow passionate on a lie.
but you know the veracious one was i