Nothing left

Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me

Such an old soul with such a young spirit
People try to tell me how to live my life, I don't wanna hear it
& it's not cuz I'm not good at listening
But I'm not commissioning any human to be belittling me
I'm distancing myself, it's interesting
Cuz when I took that step back I couldn't believe what I was witnessing
In the scene, behind the scenes, fuck it, nevermind the scene
These people think I don't see their true intentions when they be lying to me
I try to be myself and I try to be true
But when I look in the mirror, I don't know if I see Reverie or you
This relationship is so utterly complicated
Cuz Reverie provokes thoughts of everything that I've ever hated
Frustrated and jaded. My heart was invaded-
Persuaded by prevaricational fantasies to remain sedated
I waited, I dictated my struggles and my devestation
Unmotivated & tainted I live my life intoxicated Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me

So tell me how you'd deal with these split personalities ?
One focuses on life and the other upon the casualties
See gradually I'm fading, so damn focused on the trauma
Only person that still sees me as “Jordan” would be my mama
Put it on ya if you want it. You could say my house was haunted
Took four pills to murder my baby, felt her coming out of my stomach
I could still feel the pain if I close my eyes tight enough
It was bright enough, I didn't cry enough
I thought about it every night, I didn't die, but what
Snapped in my fucken brain- it would never be the same
I can't say that I regret it, just admitting to the pain
Anyway ! where am I going with this story ? I'm just venting
Tend to get carried away in these therapeutical sentences
Remember this when I die: I hated breathing
You can call me masochistic and insane but I prefer bleeding
& what I'm needing is some wings to fly away
Or a time machine to get me the fuck away from today Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me
Lord there's nothing left of me