Nothing gets crossed out

The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
my head is a carousel of pictures.
the spinning never stops.
i just want someone to walk in front and i'll follow the leader.
like when i fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush.
i started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs.
i almost forgot who i was, but came to my senses. now i try to be assertive.
i'm making plans.
i want to rise to the occasion, yeah, meet all of their demands.
but all i do is just lay in bed and hide under the covers.
i know i should be brave but i'm just afraid of all this change.
it's hard to focus through all this doubt.
i keep making "to do" lists but nothing ever gets crossed out.
even working on the record seems pointless now. when the world ends, who's gonna hear it?
but i try and take some comfort in written words, yeah tim i heard your album and it's better than good.
when you get off tour i think we should hang and black out together.
because i've been feeling sentimental for days gone by...
all those summers singing, drinking, laughing, wasting out time.
remember all those songs and the way we smiled in those basements made of music.
but now i've got to crawl to get anywhere at all. i'm not as strong as i thought.
so when i'm lost in a crows, i hope that you'll pick me out.
oh, how i long to be found.
the grass grew high. i
laid down.
now, wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand.
i have been laying so low don't want to lay here no more.
i but if everything that happens is supposed to be and it is predetermined, you can't change your destiny.
then i guess i'll just keep moving and someday, maybe, i'll get to where i'm going.