It never felt like this before

You can't hear me speak
'cause i am mute
i hide too many things
i need a place to hope
i need your help to hope again
You see a laughing boy
this is not true - only a mirage
i can't conceal my fear
i have to be sincere
[chorus:]
there is no way to forget
i broke your heart when i ran away
you didn't know what to do
i was only a stupid boy
When i look back now
i never felt so bad
to know that i've hurt you
is worse than to break
is worse than everything
Somehow i think my sparks are cold and useless
i play a role in a sad movie scene - a sad movie scene
I'm so afraid of myself
i'm so afraid of being here
i say sorry but it's not enough
i'm so afraid of losing my thoughts
[eldron, august 2001]