In the throws of a moral quandary

Well Im taking time to realize
Im making myself sick
With every pill that fills me inside
It makes it hard for me to quit
Its not like I want to be a slave to something
But somethings got me and now I cant stop
BURNING out
Im a lost cause
And I might not be here tomorrow

So call the cops
And tell them to lock me away
I'm sick and dying in vain
In there I can't hurt myself anymore
But I don't feel guilty cause we all make mistakes
And I'll just learn on the way
And maybe tomorrow
I'll be give this all up
But tonight I'm begging you for more

Cause all I wanted was a future
That I could call my own
But it isnt easy not to need this
And just let it go
You gotta believe me
I cant stop Right Now I couldn't care less if this shit fuc*** kills me
Don't Save; Drown me
God is dead I'm buried by his side
This Ain't Temporary now

?So I take a moment
And I let these pills sink in
Now I know I shouldnt be happy
But these chemicals let me pretend
Cause Ive tried so hard
To give it up
But I give in to demons
Just give me a reason to stop
Cause I want more
My destiny has forgot me

So call the cops
Tell them to lock me away
And if I die
Then hide my body
But tell everyone I'm fine
Are we so perfect that we can't make mistakes
I want to learn on the way
I promise tomorrow I'll give it up

So come on
Give me that chemical contact
Oh yea you make me feel so good
I got an itch you can scratch
So just kill me now
And End This War