I no longer know anything

Do I only think what I did
Was a stupid thing because
I did not get what I wanted
Or would it have been no matter what?

What if something had happened?
Would I still have fallen apart?
What if?
Would you have pushed her right out of my heart?
Is there something I don't want to face?
Might it not have been seen a mistake?
What if something had happened?
And this is not to say that you were
Anything but without blame
But was I always going to lose her
If not over you then another face?

I know I missed the beginning
But isn't that only to be
Expected
I no longer know anything
I no longer know anything
Is there something I don't want to face
Was it over anyway? Does she cast such a shadow
Because she hasn't been followed yet?
Would she do so
If someone walked in her footsteps?
Am I right to feel such regret?
Is there something I don't want to face
Could she easily be betrayed
So easily be betrayed?