I live with it every day

On august first, nineteen eighty-one
i cycled to scott's house with a bb gun
we were almost twelve, but we looked thirteen
he had baby-blue eyes that i shot him between
nature provides for us a safety net
whatever we do, we can never forget
I live with it every day
even though we moved away
our yesterdays are on a loop
a marathon of heartbreaking moments
The day they found me asleep on the floor
engine running, closed garage door
was the day the for sale sign arrived on the lawn
two weeks later and we were gone
everyone falls through time and the funnel it makes
but i'm staying here inside my biggest mistake
I live with it every day
even though we moved away
our yesterdays are on a loop
a marathon of heartbreaking moments
i live with it every day
for every step i have to pay
the only thing that they can't take
the guilt that spirals in my wake
The love i put away
like games that children play
the hearts you choose to break
like cars dumped in the lake
the laugh lines on your face
the life i won't embrace
the cold house i won't leave
the guests i won't receive
I live with it every day
even though we moved away
our yesterdays are on a loop
a marathon of heartbreaking moments
i live with it every day
for every step i have to pay
the only thing that they can't take
the guilt that spirals in my wake