How to fix everything

The sharper the edge the cleaner the wound, so ill be keeping it dull tonight for i deserve to hurt. disfigure the outside to show how ruined i am. there's no pain and no pleasure when you're too numb to feel. there's a pedestal across the room and if i try to climb again, this time the fall is fatal. i dont deserve such and easy exit, so maybe my spine can snap on impact and i'll have to crawl away. i'm ready to take that big step, start tearing off the layers i put up; or is it too late to be anything but what i am? identify the problem, now let's see if we can fix anything. just close the door and let me do what i need, cause it's better for us if you just let me leave. i'm ready to take that big step, start tearing off the layers i put up; or is it too late to be anything but what i am? identify the problem, now let's see if we can fix anything. how to fix everything...