Hard on the ticker

I gave up pimento cheese
Domino's delivery
Whiskey sours
Apple pies
Finger-lickin' chicken fried
Are gastronomic history
I used to like them scary shows
But I gave 'em up a while ago
Don't do no dip-defyin'
Roller coaster ridin'
Nowadays, I just take it slow
Every since we started datin'
I been compensatin'
To keep from gettin' up
To hell any quicker
'Cause

[Chorus]
She's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she ought to have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker

Now, when she wiggles through my door
My chin gets heavy, hits the floor
Silky hair, garnet lips
Swingin' double-jointed hips
My blood begins to roar
And when she nibbles on me ear
It's partly pleasure, partly beer
Little dab is all it takes
To get my heart a palpatatin'
Feelin' like the end is near
I ought to get a policy
A double indemnity
It'd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer
'Cause... [Chorus]

That's my girl
Yeah, she's hard on the ticker
I ought to get a policy
A double indemnity
It'd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer

Because she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she ought to have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker

Oh, she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
She's hard on the ticker
Hey, she's hard on the ticker