Greedy kipper

Once i knew a nipper, a greedy little kipper,
once a fella said to me,
i know where there is a tree,
laden up with fruit, warranted to suit,
anybody great or small.
So i went and did a bunk, i went to get a trunk,
i didn't mean to get a few,
i meant to get a ton or two,
of apples off the tree, wasn't greedy 'cos you see,
i'm very very fond of fruit.
So off i went to have a look at 'em,
i just cocked my leg upon the wall,
when my blood turned pale and a seven inch nail,
went right up you know, where the monkey has a tail,
and i never had a look at 'em at all