Dreaming of throwing up

So i'm looking at this bottle, and this bottle, it speaks to me.
it says get off the fuc*** train, so i jumped down.
these metaphors are for assholes, and i'm not different. i'll get to what i mean, but slowly.
roses and poetry; that's all you want to be?
it's not alive, and not dead. it's looking for a reason to be.
not alive, and not dead. you give me goals impossible and i get further from my own.
if these were lies then i wouldn't be leaving. you had to need me.
i tried this once before. it's just as insulting. what for?
it's not alive, and not dead. looking for a reason to be?
can we find a balance, a medium?
my anger was a heavy weight you bore. now i'm balancing meteors. i want to see you.
But not alive, and not dead. show me what you used to be.
i was looking at this bottle and the words made sense to me, because it was all a fuc*** dream.
a lie.
i'm not alive, and i'm not dead.
i just see my goals are impossible and i get further from them all.
these mocking words. we buried both.
what a world without you holds, i had to know.