Detachable penis (spoken)

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. this happens all the time; it's detachable. this comes in handy a lot of the time; i can leave it home when it think it's gonna get me in trouble, or i can rent it out when i don't need it. but now and then i go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning, i can't, for the life of me, remember what i did with it. first i looked around my apartment, and i couldn't find it , so i called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. i asked them to check the medicine cabinet, 'cause for some reason, i leave it there sometimes, but not this time. so i told them if it pops up to let me know. i called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate i really don't like being without my penis for too long, it makes me feel like less of a man, and i really hate having to sit down every time i take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone i could think of, i was starting to get very depressed, so i went to the kiev and ate breakfast. then as i walked down second avenue, toward's st. mark's place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, i saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven-some guy was selling it! i had to buy it off him. he wanted 22 bucks, but i talked him down to 17. i took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. i was happy again: complete. people sometimes tell me i should get it permanently attached, but i don't know. even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, i like having a detachable penis.