Cant change me

Dont try and follow me im lost in my own pain,
whilst they bugging and jumping my back i try 2 make a change,
and the women i slept with, so many i kissed,
now they plottin and schemin gettin itchy fingertips,
friendz that were down now cant think for themselves,
foolin with me behind my back and breaking my health,
so i'm left with 2 sides i used 2 hold pride,
now friendship and trust subsides in my mind,
i try 2 keep from gettin kicked in by holdin back,
then i retaliate like a bomb blown on impact,
tho the more i dont see, the more i cant reach and grab,
all wrapped up in a rap carried in my old ladies bag,
see my background aint fuzzy its real 2 believe,
having restless sleep and confusion causin disbelief,
drawn 2 the wrong crowd, but they will never see,
i am who i am, tho they changed,
they cant change me