Born 100,000 years ago

I was born a hundred thousand years ago
and there's nothin' in this world i do not know
why the flag started flying
when george washington stopped lying
i can lick the man who says that isn't so
I saw eve and adam driven from the door
i'm the man who picked the fig leaf that they wore
when the apple they were eating
i was from the bushes peeping
i can prove that i'm the man that ate the core
Queen elizabeth, she fell in love with me, poor girl
we were married in milwaukee secretly
then i snuck around and shook her
'cause i went with general hooker
just to fight mosquitoes down in tennessee
I saw noah when he built his famous ark
i slipped into it one night when it was dark
i saw jonah swallow the whale
and i pulled the lion's tale
then i crossed the land of canaan on a lark
I taught solomon his little abc's
and i helped brigham young invent limburger cheese
well i sailed out on the bay
with methuselah one day
and i saved his flowing whiskers from the breeze