Bill

I used to dream that I would discover
The perfect lover someday
I knew I'd recognize him
If ever he came 'round my way

I always used to fancy then
He'd be one of the God-like kind of men
With a giant brain and a noble head
Like the heroes bold in the books I've read

But along came Bill
Who's not the type at all
You'd meet him on the street
And never notice him

His form and face
His manly grace
Are not the kind that you
Would find in a statue

And I can't explain
It's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill
I love him because he's wonderful
Because he's just my Bill

He can't play golf or tennis or polo
Or sing a solo or row
He isn't half as handsome
As dozens of men that I know

He isn't tall and straight and slim
And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim
Still I can't explain why he should be
Just the one, one man in the world for me

He's just my Bill, an ordinary guy
He hasn't got a thing that I can brag about
And yet to be upon his knee,
So comfy and roomy, seems natural to me

And I can't explain
It's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill
I love him because he's, I don't know,
Because he's just my Bill