Assume the perpendicular

Slip on your Barbour jacket
Jump in my old MG
We’re off to the depths of Somerset
To see what we can see see see
We don’t wanna drink the cider
We don’t wanna walk for miles
We just want to go to a stately home
Built in the Georgian style

I can’t abide a horizontal life
It’s time to rise
Assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down
Make complimentary sounds
And talk about nothing in particular

Crunch up the gravel driveway
Gasp at the grand facade
Just for today we’re lords and ladies
Oh what a gay charade!
Lavinia loves the lintels
Anna, the architraves
Ben’s impressed by the buttresses
Thrust up the chapel nave I can’t abide a horizontal life
It’s time to rise
Assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down
Make funny little sounds
And talk about nothing in particular

We’ll walk the grounds
By Capability Brown
Get lost for days
Inside the manicured maze
We’ll bump our heads
Jumping on a four-post bed
And we’ll ride for free
On the ladders round the walls of the circular library

I can’t abide a horizontal life
It’s time to rise
Assume the perpendicular
Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds
And talk about nothing in particular
Nothing in particular…