Aging in rythm

The truth is i'm having a little trouble
deciding between the prize and money
and it's not like its any easier
with all these people hanging on my next word
in a look not made like this mood
i saw it clearly
but i didn't know it was you
once famous for leaving,
my small brained body
fell into the greatness of a bad joke
still meaning, in ruthless relevance
what i had meant to suddenly start knowing
they themselves don't have an exuse
for what they're doing
just to barely fill their own shoes
so if you notice
that i look like shit for a week
don't even worry
this is just how i wear my clothes
when i'm not
intrigued by first impressions
or swayed by cold rejections
my brain makes castles from sand
but i just do all i can