A message from the grave

So many things i wanted to do
so many times i wished i said
the words you want to hear
but they never appeared in my mind
All my life i've been dragged
between the feelings i never felt
i know that this is wrong
i can't take this anymore
I feel - that my last time is here
i paint the wall with my brain
My feelings for you is strong
but the words is so far away
the tombs in my mind is filled
with emotions i buried deep
I cry alone and in pain
i give my last thoughts to you
i hope you'll not miss me
when i'm dead and gone
I let you see - the truth of who i am
a fake - a joke of mankind
My journey has begun
a trip from mother earth
hope the angels will receive me
or i fall down to hell
A rope round my neck
a chair under my feet
i take the last step
to reach eternity
All my life i've been dragged
between the feelings i never felt