A dead refrain

Skyscrapers are crumbling.
Mountains move in my path.
The streets lights are twisting.
Pulling me to the earth.
My veins are anchored in this city.
I am defeated by this lack of conviction.

I am crushed by 800 miles.
Eyes widened in self loathing.
When the fuc*** dirt proves
stronger than the most pure
emotion that I’ve ever fuc*** had.
So what is left in life but my destruction?
Why do my lungs still gasp
when they no longer breathe for you?

Where is the truth in my existence
when I have been cut off from your tender fingertips.
All that I’ve known falls down around me.
Every twisting tree and dead
end street reminding me of you. Taking me back a year.

My life crawls on without you amongst
the endless snowing sheets.
Disheartening moments
of salvation come to me only when I am asleep.
I no longer stomach the denial
hiding the weakness of my being.
The day to day has been
a slow blur since you left.
Only forgiveness sets me free.

Free.

The bridges collapsing.
Hillsides are growing fast.
The pavement is shifting.
Quicksand controls my will.
I question life and it's true meaning.
I am defeated by this feebleness of will.

Frenzied thoughts arrest my mind.
As I descend towards
my eminent destruction.
The only thing I can rely
on when I lie even to myself.

Skyscrapers are crumbling.
Mountains move in my path.
The streets lights are twisting.
Pulling me to the earth.
My veins are anchored in this city.
I am defeated by this lack of conviction. Am I already dead?
I proceed hollow, unloved.
I am our burnt out memory.
Self-mutilation is my mainstay

Tear me away from the pictures of your face.
Pry my eyes from your written word.
Tear me away from the bondage of regret.
Convince me that I am alive.

This is the end. The end of everything.
All I held dear has slipped from my grasp.
This is the end. The end of everything.
All whom I’ve loved are fuc*** memories.
This is the end. The end of everything.
As I am ripe for this demise.
This is the end. The end of everything.

I kneel, godless and beaten.
I long for moments when my
eyes aren’t blinded by emptiness.